Gender Realization- Paper #1

Gender Realization

            When I was a child, I never was fully aware of gender differences. I always knew that girls played with Barbies and boys always played with Legos. I did pageants when I was younger and there were boys who also did pageants, but I never thought that was weird since I was raised around that. When I was in second grade, I entered cheerleading and knew that boys always played football. It wasn’t until I got into 9^th grade that I had my first big experience with gender.

            I was in band in junior high and there were some boys who played clarinet that you could tell were gay, but I never really thought about gender into detail until I joined the colorguard. When we tried out, I didn’t even think twice to question why there were no boys trying out because I thought of colorguard being something only girls did. It also didn’t cross my mind that our guard instructor was a gay man. When we went to our first contest, I remember sitting in the stands watching another high school perform and they had a boy in their guard. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him because he moved so gracefully and honestly was the best member of the guard. I became extremely confused because I began to wonder why we don’t have guys in our guard. It didn’t make sense to not have a guy because every guy that I watched that day at the contest was absolutely wonderful and the way they moved was breathtaking.

            I remember asking one of the older girls in our guard why we didn’t have any guys in our guard and she told me that our guard instructor didn’t want any guys in our guard. If a guy had tried out for our colorguard, he wouldn’t of made it simply because he was a guy. To me, our guard instructor contradicted himself since he was our guard instructor and had done guard for many years. I couldn’t imagine why in the world he wouldn’t want to make our guard look even better. In the four years that I was in guard in high school, a boy never tried out for guard. There were some guys in band who expressed interest in trying out for guard, but they knew they wouldn’t have made it. To this day, I still don’t know why our guard instructor didn’t allow guys on our guard. When I got to OU and tried out for The Pride, there were no guys at tryouts. I think that if a boy tried out for our guard, they would make it because I haven’t heard any differently.

            In 2007, we went to the Big XII Championship and played Missouri and their colorguard had a guy in it. Some of our fans who were male and students at OU began yelling obscene things at this poor guy and calling him a fag. What they didn’t see was that he was probably the best one out there on the field. I was embarrassed because our fans were so close minded about there being a guy in Missouri’s guard and you could tell that they guy in the guard was hurt by what our fans were saying to him. To me, it doesn’t matter if you are male or female and decide to be in colorguard because 99% of the time, the guys are absolutely phenomenal. One of the most famous Drum Corps International bands only allows guys in their guard and has no girls in their entire band and their colorguard is the most amazing thing to watch.

            I understand that it looks weird when there’s a guy in colorguard because they are perceived to be gay and feminine. Our society has built the male image to be manly and that males should play sports. Women are supposed to be the girly ones and be in things such as colorguard or cheerleading. It doesn’t seem to bother our fans when they see our male cheerleaders on game days. My experience with gender really opened my eyes to what society expects of gender. Even when I was in high school, there were band members who would make fun of other guard because they had guys in it. I became aware that there is a thick line when it comes to gender sometimes. I wish there would be a guy that would try out for our guard because I never got to experience that. Two years after I graduated, my high school got a new guard instructor and also two male members in the guard. I was enlightened by the change because those two guys were the best ones.  I think that everyone just needs to open his or her minds to gender because it honestly doesn’t bother me.            

            I am more aware of gender now more than I used to be. Like I said, it never phased me when I saw boys competing in pageants or if I saw a boy who seemed girly. Gender never bothered me until I joined colorguard because I realized the close mindedness of people. I will be happy when I see a male in the OU colorguard because that means that change is coming because we are kind of set in our ways. I will be happy when the day comes that our fans aren’t harassing males who decide to be in colorguard. Change is coming and I will be waiting patiently for it to arrive.